dear lauren: skinny scarves

dear lauren,

today we set up your etsy shop

for your skinny scarves.
you
are
so
creative.
i can't believe you thought of the idea all by yourself.
i had so much fun editing the pictures and designing the shop with you and mom.
you're special, sistah.
i love you.
love, nicole



dear lauren: glitter

dear lauren,

last night before our family movie night

you asked me if i wanted to do a craft with you.

i wasn't really feeling up to it.

but i'm glad i said yes.

you brought out your glitter glue kit

and we both made things for each other.

that was your idea too.

i decorated a paper picture frame for you.

i drew flowers on it with glitter and put a sticker on it that said

"friends forever."

you made me a picture of dragonflies and tulips.

it's really cute.

thank you.

and while we're on the subject of glitter

here's another quote.

i'm just full of inspirational quotes this week.

"she who leaves a trail of glitter

is never forgotten."

remember to sparkle.

love, nicole

 



dear lauren: ever after

dear lauren,

today we watched ever after.

that's probably my favorite movie of all time.

when you were talking with mom and dad,

 asking them all your questions about life and death and things,

mom told you that ever after was the last movie we watched

with grandma pederson before she died.

i was three and you weren't born yet.

i hadn't remembered that.

makes that movie even more special, huh?

i just thought of another quote for you.

it's from ever after.

"and while cinderella and her prince
did live happily ever after,

the point, gentlemen,
is that they lived." 

don't be so worried about living just because someday you're going to die.

dying is part of living.

and it's not the end, either.
it's just another step.

there's so much more in the "ever after" part.

also, remember that you are a princess okay?

God is our dad.
that's kind of awesome.
he's a king
and you're a princess.
and someday, you'll be a queen.
don't forget it.
love, nicole



dear lauren: no worries

dear lauren,

earlier today you said you worry that you worry too much.

i have a deep quote for you.

it's by ferris bueller.

"life moves pretty fast.
if you don't stop and look around once in a while,
 you might miss it."

i don't know if that even makes sense in this situation.

i just thought of it.

you can take it as, don't worry about stuff you can't change. just focus on today, and focus on what makes you happy.

everything

is

going

to

be

okay.

just a second ago i accidentally walked in on you and mom having a discussion

about life

and other serious stuff like that.

you were worried about all the people who have cancer

and all the babies who die right after they're born.

how come all that stuff happens?

mom told you everything happens for a reason

and that if we don't know what it feels like to be sad

we could never know what it feels like to be happy.

dad told you about the plan of salvation

and how if we're strong on earth

we can live with heavenly father forever.

that's a long time.

don't be scared.

it's all going to be fine.

i love you.

nathan loves you.

derek loves you.

kurt loves you.

dad loves you.

mom loves you.

God loves you.

Christ loves you.

i gon b okay.
hakuna matata, you know?

love, nicole

 



dear lauren: swing

dear lauren,

we went over to the neighbor's play ground and just talked.

i don't think we've done that together in a

long

time.

it was nice.

we swung on the swing and talked some more

about what we're naming our kids

and funny things that happened this week.

i thought it was cute that we were swinging on the swing

because that's what our mural is going to be of.

us on a swing.

i really like you, lauren.

i'm glad we're sisters.

love, nicole

 



dear lauren: paintbrush

dear lauren,

mom told us to sleep in today.

we didn't.

i was lying awake in bed at about eight

and i was staring at the wall

thinking how much prettier it would be if it was painted.

i thought, i'm going to paint a mural on that wall.

not just any mural.

it will be of you and me.

i told you my idea, and you said you wanted to help.

i said sure.

you said while i'm getting ready to paint the wall

you wanted to paint a picture of a paintbrush.

that's really cool.

maybe today mom will let us start.

love, nicole

 



dear lauren: lily pad

dear lauren,

i really needed to pack for efy, and i wasn't in the mood for anything.

but i heard you crying downstairs so i went to see what was up.

you couldn't make this origami flower.

so i made it for you.

i opened it up at the end, and you gasped

and told me thank you.

you had already made a leaf.

so you glued the two together and it looked just like

a lily pad.

we'll make a whole pond next week.

love, nicole

 



dear lauren: tic tacs

dear lauren,

you just came up to me and said

since you were such a good babysitter, here you go.

and you gave me four strawberry tic tacs
and a hug.

i'm eating the tic tacs right now.

they taste really good.

thank you.
you're on the phone with mom in the other room now.
you're telling her all of the fun things we did together while she was gone.
let's always be this awesome, okay?
love, nicole

 

 

dear lauren: big little

dear lauren,

enjoy the little things in life

for someday

you will realize

they were the big things.

that's on a sign in our house. it's right above the stereo next to the christus statue.

i've always believed it.

but i've never been able to see it.

i've always known it was something that would eventually be true.

someday i'll realize.

someday it will be true.

someday i'll see it.

but i think i'm starting to see it now.

i was laying in my bed this morning. thinking.

you woke up and asked if you could come into my bed.

you would not have asked me that two days ago.

i realized that the little things are what build relationships.

i've been told that my whole life.

but now i can see it.

it's awesome when dad takes us to disneyland. when he took to sun river. when we made the basketball court in our front yard.

that's all amazing.

but

it meant so much more to me

when that one day, he told me he liked my hair. i remember how it looked.

i remember how i felt.

some of my friends have probably never been told by their dad that he loves them.

but every night

i say to dad

goodnight, daddy.

and he says

goodnight, nicole. love you.

and i say

love you too.

and then he says

sweet dreams.

and i smile.

every night.

that's what i'm going to remember about my dad.

this morning i realized the little things are the big things.

you're going to remember when we make cookies together.

you're going to remember when i take the time to paint your nails.

you're going to remember that day when we finger knitted together for three whole movies.

you're going to remember when i tuck you in at night

and tell you i love you

and you know that i meant it.

i hope you remember all of that.

love, nicole

 

 



dear lauren: pudding

dear lauren,

we just finished making cookies together.

i told you i was putting pudding mix into the dough and you made a funny face.

but it was the best dough we've ever made.

i put in the essential michael jackson cd and asked you what your favorite mj song was

you said say say say.

that's my favorite too.

we talked about all of our other favorite michael jackson songs

and then you told me that you didn't really like candy.

sometimes it makes you sick looking at it, you said.

i guess i'll have to think of something different to put on your bed in the morning.

love, nicole

 

 



dear lauren: closer

dear lauren,

after the movie we picked out an outfit and i did your hair. i pulled your bangs back and it looks really cute.

i painted your nails light pink to match your shirt.

as i was painting them, i was thinking of things to talk with you about.

then it hit me.

i don't know your favorite color.

i'm your sister, and i don't even know your favorite color.

so i asked you.

you told me you like lime green and light pink, like your nails.

i asked you what your favorite animal was. you asked if you could pick three.

lemurs, cheetahs, and elephants

no, giraffes, you said.

your favorite foods are tamale pie and tater tots.

your favorite ice cream flavor is cookie dough.

your favorite disney princess is belle.

like me.

all these things i should've known but didn't until today.

i asked you what you want to be when you grow up.

a person who works in the baby room at the hospital, you said.

you also said you want to be a good mom

and that's the coolest thing i've ever heard.

i think we're a little closer to becoming best friends.

love, nicole

 

 

 

dear lauren: erised

dear lauren,

mom and dad are out of town for the day.

you're cuddled in a blanket on the couch getting ready for our harry potter marathon.

i asked you if you would teach me to finger knit during the movie

since you're so amazing at it.

you said yes.
then nathan tried to make you an omelet for breakfast
with onions on top, because you like that.
but it turned into scrambled eggs.

during the first harry potter, i asked you what you think you would see if you looked into that mirror that harry found.
the one that shows you the deepest desire of your heart.
you said you didn't know.
i don't know either.
but i think it might have something to do with the two of us together.
my finger scarf is looking good.
love, nicole